This is my Isaac moment!

I just looked over my blogs and realized I have not written anything here in months! Wow, I didn't think it had been that long. But it has!

So what has been going on? My question is? How do you stop loving someone that is and has been a very important part of your life for years. Eight years to be exact?

We started our relationship very casual, but over the years it has become more. For me anyway. My family and friends tell me "if he hasn't popped the question yet, he isn't going to"! Which brings me to another point. I have been married and divorced three times. Frankly I am terrified of marriage, my last husband almost destroyed me. He was bossy, controlling and supposedly a good Christian man. I believe in God and I believe that God has my best interests at heart even if it doesn't seem so at the time.

God asked me to give Him my fear. Umm, you guessed it, I am afraid to do that. But I will, somehow in God's grace I will. You see, this is my "Isaac Moment"! God asked me to turn the relationship over to Him, stop doing the things that don't glorify Him and to trust Him. My Isaac moment.

If you don't know the story in the Bible about Abraham, he was a very old man and God promised him that he would have a son. Abraham and his wife Sarah were very old. Past the age of being able to bear children. Long story short Sarah became pregnant with Isaac. They named him Isaac because, Isaac means laughter. Sarah laughed when she heard that God was going to give her a son.

One day God told Abraham to take Isaac up and sacrifice him on the alter. Abraham was so scared, he didn't want to sacrifice his son. But he trusted God. (In Bible times there had to be sacrifices for sins, an atonement). Abraham took his son and put him on the alter and prepared to sacrifice him, just as he raised his weapon to sacrifice his son God told him to look in the bushes and there was an animal stuck there and God told him to sacrifice the animal and spare his son. Abraham trusted and because of his love and trust God spared Isaac.

Will God spare my relationship if I put it on the alter? Well, I've already put it on the alter, I've already told my boyfriend that the physical side of our relationship must stop. So what do we have left? I guess we will find out! My relationship has been placed on the alter.

I cry, I cry and cry over this man. I love him so much, but God promised that he would give back everything that the enemy has stolen from me. And this type of relationship is not "EVERYTHING" the enemy has stolen from me, it is part of what the enemy has stolen. So I have to give it up, even though I adore this man. Tough situation huh! We actually get along very well so in this day and age it seems a bit crazy to withdraw from a relationship like that.

I don't know what is going to happen. This man sort of believes in God, He doesn't believe much of the Bible and that makes things very difficult. One of two things will happen, either this man and I will fall completely away from each other, or this man will fall in love with God and come to know Him too. If he does not, I don't want to be with him anyway. I know God loves this man and wants him in His kingdom. God wants all of his children in His kingdom.

So what will happen next? Tune in next time for another segment of this unfolding saga. I will try to get here much more often. I need this outlet and thank you for listening to my drama.

Danni