This is awesome!

I went to church today. Second time in six months. I got up this morning and my stomach hurt and I was SO tired I just wanted to go back to sleep. But I didn't! I made myself get going, get myself cleaned up and go to church. I was sure glad I did. I have vowed to "make" myself go from now on, I know I do so much better when I do. Its good to fellowship. I need the teaching and I need the closeness of my Christian friends. I have heard the story many times about the coals in a fire and when you take one smoldering ember and put it to the side by itself it goes out. But when that coal of fire, is with the other embers the fire burns brighter and stays burning with the help of each other. I love that story.

I am doing really well. I started physical therapy on friday and can feel a huge difference in just one session. I am so excited.

I am now only on two medications. One for Bipolar and one for vertigo. I have to take something for pain since my hip is still bothering me but its ok. Medication is a tool and should be used so, not to take over my life and drag it down. I have not felt this good in years.

I really think that Bipolar Disorder has gotten a bad rap in some ways. The focus has been on the bad part of the illness and that anyone who has it has to get OVER it. Correct me if I'm wrong but I am seeing that while control is necessary and has to be done I think that I allowed the joyous, creative side of me to be stifled and that is depressing all by itself. I had gotten to the point that I was serious all the time to the point of being sick, tired and a real stick in the mud most of the time. I don't like being that way. I am who I am. God created me this way. Illness is a part of my life. One of my friends asked me if I had been healed. and I say "yes" I believe I have in so many ways. If God has chosen to take all of the illness from me it will prove itself in time. I know that the way I feel right now I have not felt better.

I am watching what I eat, taking vitamins, b6, b12, calcium/mag, and an herbal/vitamin to help with hormones since I don't have ovaries now as of surgery 2 years ago. (thanks RON for the comment about hormones)! Most of the problems that I had physically are gone.

My son and my daughter in law have a Wii and we do the fitness profiles on it. When I did the first profile it came back that I was in the physical shape of a 57 year old. That was 42 days ago. Friday night I spent the night with my daughter in law. My son has been out of town working and she was bored. P:) We redid the Wii profile of me and it came back that I had the physical shape of a 44 year old! I AM 44!! Praise God! I feel so much better. I now know what the ending of my book is going to be. I knew when I started the book that I could not write a book on dealing with lifes problems and illness's and getting better from them in the shape I was in. Something had to happen. I now know that something HAS happened, I am 1000% better and getting better daily! That is the beginning of a new life and an end to the misery. Thank God!