The day after!

It is the day after Christmas and all through the house...!!!
Well, I really don't feel like poetry today, but I'll be honest with you. I don't feel like much of anything! This illness might just be getting the better of me. It does not bother me whenever I sleep. I wake up feeling just fine, and actually talking halfway clear. Then, as the day progress's my speach gets worse and my face and head hurt more and more. Unfortunately that progression only takes a few minutes!

There is this man that is after me. He wants me to be his girlfriend. I think I've been pretty clear about how I feel, but he won't give up. Yesterrday he got mad at me because he was literally drinking with his 16 year old daughter. I got pretty upset about it and told him how I felt and hung up on him. He called back today and told me to look in the mirror and at least he could talk straight. I know I shouldn't care about what he said, but it hurt me pretty bad.

I have no feelings for him and have chosen to no longer take his calls. It is the safest thing for me to do. I can't help it that I have a hard time talking. The thing that upsets me the most is that I wanted to be a public speaker!!!

I guess that I can still write is a good thing in itself. I have a message that I want the world to hear. The diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder hit me pretty hard, and I have learned to live with it. I think that I have learned to live with it pretty successfully. But, this one is going to take me awhile. My voice going bad, the electrical shocks in my hands and stumbling and falling that I can't seem to control are hitting me pretty hard.

It will be ok. It has to be! My voice needs to be heard, even if it is only a whisper. And I will move, even if its in a wheelchair!

Danni